THANKSGIVING

It was one of the most wonderful Thanksgiving holidays ever...! I drove to Indiana to spend some wonderful time with some wonderful friends.

I was supposed to catch a flight out of knoxville, but because of unforeseen circumstances I wasn't able to get there in time.

No big deal....it was a fantastic flight in my little silver bullet...! Haha!

I spent thursday, friday and most of saturday with my best friend of 30 years..

We ate at the most awesome little restaurant thurs for Thanksgiving, it was in the middle of NOWHERE! LOL!

I Drove back to Indy on sat evening and met some friends there for a couple hours for my side job. Made a little money and headed back home. I got home about 0530 sunday morning and took it easy all day sunday..

I'll be going back to Indy in a couple months...I can't wait!

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48-4-1 24 ko's
was my Boxing record...

Sounds good doesn't it...

It means nothing now..

(I was blackballed, my history and record was scrubbed because I wouldn't lay down in a set up bout for someone I could knock out blind folded..
And I DID he was number 24..
2 years later he was a contender for the title..go figure)

I set the world record for the highest southern gospel tenor ever recorded...

Sounds cool doesn't it...

It means nothing now...

(I was blackballed my the southern gospel industry for this...go figure)

I sang full time with a top line gospel group!

Sounds cool doesn't it...

It means nothing now...

(I was blackballed by the owner because of marital issues I was dealing with and was fired simply because I wouldn't leave my wife at the time)

Over and over I have tried to succeed in life and have failed...

Until now...

UNTIL NOW.....

If you fail over and over in the midst of battles of attempt...eventually you will succeed...ask me....
I am a success at being a FAILURE....
I love you God..! Thank you...
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Today is a better day..but I got another call about another funeral..

I have to sing in this one. Funerals are the hardest to sing at tomorrow. I am so tender hearted it's all I can do just to get through it.

I know the pain of loosing a loved one all too well...

I have been smiling all day..I'm so looking forward to hitting the gym tonight...!

I start my road work back this weekend. I haven't ran in almost 10 years...

I ran so much when I was boxing I grew to detest just the thought of it!

But all is well...

My mother and dad are really sick with a stomach virus today and yesterday..it kills me when they get sick.

God is really opening doors for me, and I am so thankful for it...
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Today was a very odd day...kind of a branch off of yesterday (Sunday)..I was short fused..very ill most of the day...doing a lot of reminiscing over the past year of hell I've been through.

Trying to figure out how NOT to put myself back in those positions again.

On an up note: I've met a new wonderful friend from China named Kassandra...
I really enjoy making new friends...I don't get to do that very often.

Life has many twists and turns...and I believe no matter what...if we keep our eyes on the goal we can eventually end up right where we wanted..but taking the wrong turns will most definitely get us there much later than we should have been...
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I'm kinda down and depressed tonight...I've had a wonderful weekend all I all though.

Had a wonderful concert saturday, today was really sad. We laid to rest another one of my late father's sisters.

It's times like this when being alone is a hard thing to face. No shoulder to cry on, or an ear to borrow.

This is when you wish you had a beautiful heart to sit and cry with you a while...

To feel what you feel...

I can't show my little elderly mother my broken heart, because she loves me so much, she couldn't take it.

I used to be able to talk to her about everything in my life and in my heart. But no more. She just turned 78 on the 28th of last month.

And just the thought of loosing her scares me to death. Much less loosing her without a love in my life.

Alone is good for me. I have had many many many opportunities to date, but for some reason I just refuse.

This last one just completely destroyed my heart. I'm really not sure when I will have the courage to date again...

All my friends are just shock that I haven't dated in over 2 months now. I really believe it will probably be at least another month or two before I'll will.

Wow! 4 months without a single kiss? Haha!

I am just praying that God will make me a better man.

I am praying everyday that God will not put anyone before me that's not supposed to be there..

I have had my heart completely shattered over and over...and I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than to have to face one more lie...one more disappointment..one more broken promise...one more crushed soul..

I'm not a perfect man by far, I have many faults..

But I know how to love..

I know all this sounds like I'm sitting here beneath the waves..but I'm really not..

I'm actually very very happy..!

The stress of my divorce is getting lighter every day..

My job is kind of shaky right not but it still great...

My singing is picking up..we are singing everyday next weekend.. :))))

It's going to be great....

My home is done..for now..

And I am at my goal weight of 163.

So don't think I'm in a deep depression at all...

It's just one of those days...

The loss of my wonderful Aunt just hit me hard in the face with the fact of how short life

really is...
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I took and passed my D.O.T. Required biannual hazardous materials safety test today with a 90 percent...I normally score 100 percent on it every time...

It takes roughly 2 hours to complete it so it's very vast..

A couple trick questions thrown into the mix sidetracked me..

Being a little ADHD makes that interesting! Especially me sitting in one spot for more than 15 min! LOL!

I should have video'd that and posted it on youtube! Hahaha!

Gonna be a long day today, started at 7 am, and I prob won't be done til around 9 tonight again..

Also got some crummy news today, they are changing the work bid again! Looks like I will be going back to a 4 day bid..
Pretty nice to have my fridays off..but...it will put a dent in my paycheck... NOT GOOD!

Hopefully the singing will pick up and make up the difference...

All in all...it's going to be a beautiful day...
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Got the first receipt of monies paid to my x wife today...it will soon be over. I'll be giving her a huge lump sum next week...not from the refinance on my home unfortunately. But the money will be in her hands. Then we will begin the finalizing process on our divorce.

I got a hug from her today, I've actually missed those...I never got many hugs while we were married...but I always enjoyed hugging that little short woman.

Life is finally beginning to move forward..

Along with the fact I'm on a woman strike for a few months...

Simply because I've really got to exhaust my life of a lot of thoughts of broken dreams that are still weighing heavily on my soul....

And because I've learned that It's not fair to another woman to have to bare the pain I'm trying to rid myself of...

Life is getting
sweeter...
and
sweeter...

every day now.... YAY..!
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knee knocking.......

This past weekend I did the first solo concert I have done in almost 5 years...I was so unsetteling at first.

I literally HATE to hear myself sing and can't understand why others enjoy it. It has to be God.

The first 2 songs were horrible..I was so nervous I lost all vocal control over my vibrato and breathing.

But, I soon warmed up to it, I am supposed to be getting a few more calls for solo concerts soon. It will get easier the more I do, I'm sure. They pay really well too...so that is a plus..LOL....

The church was New Start in Mauldin, SC...a fantastic little Church with a lot of precious members...

The deal setter......

I have been wrestling with trying to get my divorce over now for almost a year. I was an ugly story that has turned out better..My X-wife of almost 16 years has been happily matched up with someone she cares for and someone who is probably a much better man than I am, or ever could be.

I on the other hand believe I am destined to just be alone..

I feel in my heart that I am impossible to love...
I am overly affectionate and overly romantic...
I always have been...

I come from a loving family so it really comes natural....

Today I spoke with my x wife about getting everything finalized. It was nice talking to her...but still very painful knowing that what all we built together has been thrown into the garbage...

But...that is neither here nor there now...

I promised her a lump sum of money in which I am about to give her the bigger majority of within a couple weeks..Yay for her because she really needs it being that, the one she is with isn't providing for her like a man should be...she has NO cell phone, nor anything else she needs..

I have kept her on my insurance for the past year, and am going to continue paying for it for another 3 to 6 months.WHY?   H*@#    if I know...I get no thank you for it...but who cares..

I was so deeply in love with her until about 7 months ago...I fell completely out of love with her after she called me a sorry excuse for a man...

I have since forgiven her for that...even though I'm sure she still feels that way.

But, today we got the money issue worked out, at least for the moment.

Tomorrow of course is still another day in the making and only God knows who is ahead...